Fairfield County CT Boudoir Photographer | Boudoir is not PORN

Posted By on Mar 27, 2014 | 3 comments


Ahem….

 

check, check… is this on?

 

Just checking because if I have to step up onto this soap box again I wanna be sure you can all hear me.  I would like to start by saying…

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY, and well if you just don’t understand it and it’s not for you that’s fine, however I’ll ask you to kindly remember that I myself as well as my clients have a right to our thoughts, feelings and opinions as well and I didn’t get to where I am today because the vast majority disagrees with me.  MOST people understand it’s art and it’s beautiful and it’s about liberating women from the feelings of being less than or not enough.  So if you’re the jerk who keeps reporting images on my page trying to get my facebook account taken down because you don’t like it / or worse you’re jealous of my work.  KNOCK IT OFF, you’re not hurting me, your just further damaging yourself.

Perhaps you should take a few moments to read my page about the #getnekkid movement

#getnekkid movement

Anyway, you made it back…. good so lets talk about this now shall we?

Wiki defines porn as:

Pornography (often abbreviated as “porn” or “porno” in informal usage) is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal. Pornography may be presented in a variety of media, including booksmagazines, postcards, photographs, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recordingfilm, video, and video games. The term applies to the depiction of the act rather than the act itself, and so does not include live exhibitions like sex shows and striptease. The primary subjects of pornographic depictions are pornographic models, who pose for still photographs, and pornographic actors or porn stars, who perform in pornographic films. If dramatic skills are not involved, a performer in a porn film may also be called a model.

Wiki defines boudoir (photography)  as:

Photography[edit]

The term “boudoir” may also be ascribed to a genre of photography. Boudoir photography is not generally a new concept and numerous examples including ones of Kathleen Meyers, Clara BowMae West and Jean Harlowphotographed in a boudoir style.

Typically shot in a photographer’s studio or luxury hotel suites, it has become fashionable to create a set of sensual or sexually suggestive images of women (and occasionally men and couples) in “boudoir style”. The most common manifestation of contemporary boudoir photography is to take variations of candid and posed photographs of the subject partly clothed or in lingerie. Nudity is more often implied than explicit. Commercially the genre is often (though not exclusively) derived from a market for brides to surprise their future husbands by gifting the images on or before their wedding day. Other motivations or inspiration for boudoir photography shoots include anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, weight loss regimes, other form of body change or alteration (such as breast augmentation or reduction) and for servicemen and women overseas.[2]

Boudoir photography may, in some cases, be distinguished from other photography genres such as glamour photography, fine art nude photography and erotic photography. According to research carried out in Digital Boudoir Photography (2006), John G. Blair said that the word “Boudoir” or “Boudoir portrait”, was used in 1980 by Motherlode Photography Studio in California to describe a picture more elegant than “erotic portrait” or “semi nude portrait”.

 

So now that we have read these Wiki definitions lets talk about what boudoir means to me:

For me boudoir photography is a way to share with other women the feeling of incredible empowerment that comes along with accepting yourself for who you are, right now at this moment in your life with no “buts”.  It’s my belief that we WOMEN as a whole have become so incredibly dysfunctional because we are not raised like men to take pride in becoming a woman.  When a pubescent boy grows chest hair and his voice deepens a fathers chest swells with pride and often you’ll hear things  like “That’s my boy.”  When we as women start to come of age and grow into the women we were always designed to become we say, “Cover that up dear”,”there’s no reason to buy the cow if you give the milk away” etc.  Really the list of things we say to a girl becoming a woman that would lead her to feel like she should be ashamed of her body and of her womanhood is lengthy.  I don’t think it was the intent to harm girls but rather a misguided attempt to protect them.  These messages  have become almost expected, and even echo from society.  Perhaps the subtext is in the interest of the nervous parents who are not prepared to discuss the responsibilities of a woman’s emerging sexuality, never the less the message is pretty clear.  Becoming a physically mature man is a source of pride, becoming a physically mature woman is something that requires you to play it down and cover it up, as if being a woman is somehow dirty, shameful and something we should not flaunt and be proud of like our male counterparts.

I’m sorry but I have to take a moment here to call BULLSHIT… I’d like to say shenanigans or something less offensive but BULLSHIT Is what it is.

We all grow up with the story of the ugly duckling… imagine if as the duckling became the beautiful swan it was told to cover it’s feathers so no one else would know how beautiful it was, do you think the swan would believe it was beautiful?  Or perhaps the transitioning swan would assume there is something damaged, defective, or not good enough about itself that it was being asked to be anything less than what it is?

Then the ugly of this all grows even further the minute we introduce the idea that our sexuality is something that we should need to cover up we begin to pick apart ourselves, and then as it would seem we begin to pick at one another.  We begin to judge one another based on our appearance, abundance and even lack of presumed sexuality.  Strangely enough this thing we are led to believe we should be hiding becomes the center of our sense of selves, and right then and there is where we get all screwed up.

I’m 36 years old almost 37, and it has taken me nearly 20 years to get over growing up a girl, and recover the pieces of the strong brave girl I once was.  I’m not so different now than I was before I grew breasts and a killer booty, but there were a lot of years in between that I was pretty lost.  I was looking for validation that I was a beautiful woman from everywhere but inside myself, and it’s not to be found anywhere else.

I got married, I became a mother, got divorced and married again.  I own a business, I have many friends and I’m a fairly well known  and respected member of my community. I do a ton of charity work, I give back wherever I can and I’m the most loyal, faithful friend anyone could ask for, and yet in all of this I didn’t FEEL BEAUTIFUL.  I’m not talking about feeling pretty, heck if I can cut the lower half of my body out of a photo I’m usually feeling pretty good about it, but feeling beautiful isn’t about feeling pretty half way… it’s about accepting yourself, ALL OF YOURSELF for who you are.

If I can show you that you are beautiful wearing a yard of fabric, then perhaps you can find the strength to believe it yourself again when I’m not there.  It’s kinda like a jack in the box, once you know it’s there you can stuff it into the box and pretend it’s not there, but really you know it is.

Being a woman is a gift, we were blessed with beautiful, soft, curvy bodies, and learning to love the skin you’re in is the greatest gift I can ever give to another woman, it was the greatest gift I ever gave to myself.

Life is too short to waste it doubting yourself, we only get one opportunity to do this thing, get out there strut your shit and make a big splash!

Aurora-Statement

 

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3 Comments

  1. This is wonderful! I adore your #getnekkid movement. I think boudoir can be so empowering. As a typical woman, full of self loathing, to me, boudoir is a way of overcoming that. It’s a way to love and accept yourself. I only recently recognized that aspect of boudoir photography. So BRAVO! I can’t wait to #getnekkid 🙂

  2. so when are you coming to see me lol?? are you local to me Danyel? if you’re not come see me on a trip out to NYC I’d love to photograph you and make you feel beautiful, BEST thing I have ever done for myself!

  3. Aurora, I’m near Cape Cod. Not far. I think I may be headed your way for a mini vaca in the summer 🙂

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